What is Neuro-affirming practice?

"Neuro-affirming" has become a bit of a buzzword lately, with lots of people using it to describe their business and lots of different definitions depending on who you ask. But what does it really mean?

Some people don't mean much of anything by it, unfortunately. It really is just used for marketing purposes sometimes. They may change a thing or two on the surface about the way they approach neurodivergent students or clients, but it's ultimately just window dressing with no deeper understanding.

Some people mean "neurodivergent affirming," which simply means you are affirming of the way the neurodivergent individual in front of you operates. This is nice, of course, but not really useful as a framework for how to treat neurodivergent people as a whole.

Another meaning is "neurodiversity affirming," and this can still be interpreted in two ways. It could be referring to the simple definition of "neurodiversity," which is "the natural variation in the way human brains operate." This is also nice, and it's certainly better than acting like every brain difference is the result of disease, but it's still kind of a low bar that leaves room for ableist ideas and practices.

At Diverge, we mean "neurodiversity affirming" in the sense that our approach is aligned with the neurodiversity paradigm, which says that the natural diversity of human neurobiology is valuable and that there is no one "normal" or "right" way of being. In practice, this looks like not centering neurotypicality as the norm or a goal, and treating all ways of being as equally valid.

For example, when we navigate social settings and the different ways people communicate, we don't just expect autistic kids to learn allistic (non-autistic) social skills and do all the work of bridging the gap. Instead, we teach both groups about the communication differences they may encounter and expect that they both make the effort to understand each other better.

One particular framework I like that supports neuro-affirming (or neurodiversity-aligned) practice comes from Kieran Rose (The Autistic Advocate), which prioritizes Agency, Autonomy, Acceptance (especially of the self), and Authenticity. Instead of telling kids that they need to conform to make it in "the real world," we help them understand how their own brain and body work, teach them how to recognize and accommodate their own needs, and empower them to trust their own instincts and make their own decisions. In other words, we show kids how to work with what they've got instead of against it.

As a society, we like to tell kids to just be themselves, be true to themselves, and stand up for themselves. But then, when it comes to neurodivergent kids, we tell them to change almost everything about themselves and train them to suppress their needs. We know that pretending to be something you're not isn't good for a person's mental health or long-term happiness, so why do schools, therapists, and medical professionals keep telling neurodivergent people to do just that?

"Fitting in" to neuronormative expectations is not the key to happiness. Finding the people who get you and like you for who you are is. Knowing what you need and how to meet your needs in order to achieve your goals is. Feeling good about who you are instead of ashamed and broken is. That is what a true neuro-affirming approach can do for kids, and that is what we want for all our learners at Diverge.